Introspective Afternoon

I'm not how I am But for the things I've endured I'm not me, but I feel indentured To a life moored in apathy I try every day to reach out But my facade is keeping me at arms length And I know that it holds me back But I'm powerless against it's strength I fight, I struggle every day To be the me that I really want to be But the me I really want to be Is so far away, that I can't see What it'll take to get there It's so cloudy that I can't see What I'm doing wrong? Can you help me?