Into the Woods
The day that I lost my mind, I was infinitely miniscule, barely alive in a vacuum of space. I looked around and filled that darkness with demons. It didn't hurt any less, but it wasn't as lonely.
The day that I wanted to stop, I didn't tell my best friend. I didn't tell my roommate. I didn't tell my dad. I told those demons. Then I dragged myself off the ground and told Miss Emily.
The next day, the school tried to hospitalize me, and I was angry. Anger has always been my strongest companion. But my best friend told me that she was afraid for me. My roommate gave me a blanket. My dad yelled at the school counselor and had to be physically stopped from driving up to Natchitoches. Miss Emily made me hot chocoloate.
I built those goddamned demons. I made them out of malice and jealousy and polymer clay and hatred only mostly aimed at myself. They were my creations and they lived in my heart when I formed them and they live there now as everyday I try a little harder to undo what I did to myself.
Listen to me now.
You do not want to die.
You just want to kill something inside you.
Walk into the woods and find it.
Copyright © Lucy Silverman | Year Posted 2020
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