International Incident

I’ve been time traveling recently. Going back through events in my life. You might be inflicted with my memories for a while. No, I didn’t make this up. It actually happened just this way. My dad was always trying his best our horizons to expand He taught us to extend our hand and shake just like a man And if there was an opportunity to bring culture to his brood He’d insist that we all try it like eating octopus for food One night he brought home a fellow businessman He came from far off Sweden just to visit with our clan. Mom made sure that we were dressed and we practiced our handshake She told us all to be polite and about the extra effort we should make. When dad came home we all lined up and were quiet, not a word Then dad turned to the four of us and said, “Boys this is my friend Turd.” Why his name couldn’t have been Sven or Lars is hard to understand And why couldn’t dad have warned us, it should have been better planed. But he didn’t, he just said it and let it ring inside our ears We tried our best to hold it in but it started to bring tears. I made the mistake of turning my head to look at my three brothers, And just like me each of them was turning to look at the three others. That’s all it took the dam was burst our quivering jaws let loose We spit and laughed even knowing that our necks were in the noose. Some advice to you young fathers now seeing what could be at stake There’s only so much diplomacy a ten year old can take.