Insomnia

Deprived of sleep the mind revolves in a slowly turning gyre of thoughts, capturing the past and future in its spiral to feed its want and taunt the will. Dawn becomes a cruel mirage dancing on a distant horizon. An exhausted self is sieved through the gauze of a semi conscious dream as it masquerades as sleep, sending bits to float off across the room until a sudden noise or a sharp pain brings the mind back into the wide awake prison of itself…..again.

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Sara Etgen-Baker

Date: 5/13/2024 3:53:00 PM

Paul--your poem accurately depicted what I call the cycle of insomnia. I used to suffer so from it...it's wearisome and aggravating. I can identify with these words: semi conscious dream as it masquerades as sleep. Being sleep deprived does feel like a prison. I consider your poem a masterpiece! enjoy your evening and hope you have a restful night :-) Sara

Paul Willason
Date: 5/15/2024 2:33:00 AM

Good to hear that my words resonated, even more pleased that, in your case, the resonance related to past experiences. Thankyou for your lovely comments dear Sara...so kind.

Hilda Greenhough

Date: 5/13/2024 12:50:00 PM

This gives a fairly accurate picture of insomnia.the rhythmic meter combined with the verse of sleeplessness creates a masterpiece.

Paul Willason
Date: 5/15/2024 2:29:00 AM

So good to hear from you Hilda...thankyou for providing such positive feedback. Always nice to hear when a poem works a little magic...a treat for an old bloke. Valued.

Daniel Henry Rodgers

Date: 5/13/2024 7:30:00 AM

Hello Paul, You have perfectly captured the relentless nature of sleeplessness. The lines about the mind revolving in a 'slowly turning gyre' and the dawn being a 'cruel mirage' truly connected with me. I loved how the poem ends on a powerful note, with the speaker trapped in the 'wide awake prison' of themselves. Such a powerful piece. - Blessings, Daniel

Paul Willason
Date: 5/15/2024 2:24:00 AM

Pleased that I cobbled together words that found your sympathetic eye...conveyed something of the frustrations of sleeplessness. Appreciate your thoughtful comments my friend.

Di11y Da11y

Date: 5/13/2024 6:42:00 AM

Powerful use of the word gauze there Paul. There totally is that 'was I sleeping?' sleep that is a taunt as you are less refreshed than if it hadn't occurred. Captured and narrated as only you can. Another piece of magic (that experience wise I commiserate with but poetically applaud)

Paul Willason
Date: 5/15/2024 2:20:00 AM

Thanks DD...wasn't sure whether the poem worked but your kind appraisal has given me confidence that it conveyed something worthwhile. Indebted my dear friend for being so supportive.