Inside the Garret

Inside the lonesome garret, all was grey. He sat there thinking of his broken dreams - like how he’d planned to be so rich one day, and yet he’d failed at all his half-baked schemes. Tormented by the itch that went unscratched, he’d grown embittered by his circumstance. He loathed the one to whom he’d stayed attached, a foolish wife who yearned for mere romance! She’d loved him, rich or poor, which was no help! Her acquiescence made him hate her more. He smiled as he recalled her startled yelp; he looked down at her corpse there on the floor. His final thoughts were quite far from contrite. . . and then a single gunshot sliced the night.
Copyright © | Year Posted 2012

Poem

Post Comments

Poetrysoup is an environment of encouragement and growth so only provide specific positive comments that indicate what you appreciate about the poem. Negative comments will result your account being banned.

Please Login to post a comment

12
Watt Avatar
November 2, 2020 at 1:46 PM
Your murder/suicide narrative is a far cry from your odes to chirruping birds and enjoying the sunshine of summer... all the more testament to your writing versatility. Well done and belated congrats on your win ~ John
Mehta Avatar
March 21, 2014 at 5:31 AM
Brilliant write. Congratulations on the fine win, andrea
A   Avatar
March 19, 2014 at 5:11 PM
Andrea, congratulations... love ~Linda
Stephens Avatar
March 19, 2014 at 8:56 AM
Hi, Congrats on your placement. Shock! Did not see the ending coming. Great poem. Well constructed. Told a story excellently. Regards Theresa xx
A  Avatar
March 19, 2014 at 2:19 AM
Awesome win, Andrea. ......love-Skat
D. Avatar
March 18, 2014 at 11:16 PM
nice win
May Avatar
August 4, 2012 at 7:32 PM
great poem...going in my fav list....soupmail
Brown Avatar
March 12, 2012 at 9:04 AM
Congratulations on your win in Catie's "Narratives" contest Andrea. Love,Carol
Sweetheart Avatar
March 11, 2012 at 7:30 PM
congrats Andrea on a great win for this wonderful composition for Catie.. my entry failed to place but loved to write for it ..
Williams Avatar
March 11, 2012 at 3:48 PM
Andrea congrats on your win, missed this first time, love it..David
Babcock Avatar
March 3, 2012 at 5:19 PM
wow another interesting write with poem. Good luck in Catie's contest. love phyl
K. Avatar
March 2, 2012 at 9:47 AM
Oh whoa! So is that right, he also got killed?? Very gripping tale you write here, Andrea, you do suspense well-- this is a sad write but I enjoyed it :) hugs to you!
Sweetheart Avatar
February 27, 2012 at 8:42 PM
wow ..fascinating write Andrea and luv the rhyme scheme.. so cool for a Narrative piece luv.. good luck in the contest.. a wow winner .. to me..
Horne Avatar
February 27, 2012 at 12:33 PM
Wow, powerful piece, Andrea. Many congrats on your wins : )
Brown Avatar
February 27, 2012 at 7:52 AM
The best to you in Catie's contest Andrea. Love, Carola6y6
Guzzi Avatar
February 26, 2012 at 6:04 PM
goodness! she should have got him with a caste iron fry pan first! Light & Love
Sivey Avatar
February 26, 2012 at 2:41 PM
Ah yes, inside the garret would definitely be a flighty bullet! This is a very well written poem! I just love how you can write a poem so well that if flows perfectly and makes so much sense! I envy you Andrea! You are a great poetess, master of verse, empress of rhyme!! Well, this is truly an awesome poem my friend! Excellent Work!!
Johnson Avatar
February 26, 2012 at 2:24 PM
You really have a nice flow going with these last two poems. I have to say, I'm left a little sullen from all the tragedy. I relate more to the bunny. :)
Merryman Avatar
February 26, 2012 at 2:08 PM
I wasn't expecting the ending. Great write, Andrea. Best wishes in the contest. Love, Kim
Ball Avatar
February 26, 2012 at 1:58 PM
WoW!s What a sad and bitter tale and yet one which seems to be not so unheard of these days. Too many people want to blame their spouse for their own mistakes or for dreams they never realized. Great job here. God Bless, JB
Kendrick Avatar
February 26, 2012 at 1:56 PM
Story with surprise ending..Good one that you have penned..The thing is that this happens more often that we would like it to happen..Good luck in the contest..Reads like a winner to me..Thanks for stopping by..I am glad that your clicked on about this poem..Those baby birds are so helpless and bare..Sara
Campi Avatar
February 26, 2012 at 12:42 PM
I really like this poem. It is my cup of tea. In fact, I said wow ant the last line. Quite a touch, you arose my slumber. Jancarl
Fitzgerald Avatar
February 26, 2012 at 10:57 AM
Very much enjoyed this piece Andrea, best of luck in the contest ,Hugs and best wishes , Declan xxx
Onclaud Avatar
February 26, 2012 at 9:39 AM
andie, a different curve here in terms of concept for the theme.. have you been watching suspense thrillers lately?lol... your writing just intrigues the heck out of the reader.!.. how are you?.. i'm better though every now and then, allergy pops up.. been doing my list for the oscars.. i like the artist or incredously loud, brad pitt or oldman, viola davis or glenn close, olivia spenser, max von sydow or plummer, and martin scorsese/ malick (for direction)... did you notice that themes on children were more explored this year?.. i enjoyed incredously loud and the help but i don;t think they are oscar-popular!... no george clooney or descendants for me but both will win, i guess!.. :) huggs!
Falotico Avatar
February 26, 2012 at 9:35 AM
Excellent write once again my dear Andrea.... Catie will love it as do I...hugs alll day for you.... Michael
12
Get a Premium Membership
Turn off ads, get more exposure for your poetry, and get more features with a Premium Membership.
Book: Diverse Voices: The Poetry of Human Rights and the Pursuit of Peace