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Inside the Garret

Inside the lonesome garret, all was grey. He sat there thinking of his broken dreams - like how he’d planned to be so rich one day, and yet he’d failed at all his half-baked schemes. Tormented by the itch that went unscratched, he’d grown embittered by his circumstance. He loathed the one to whom he’d stayed attached, a foolish wife who yearned for mere romance! She’d loved him, rich or poor, which was no help! Her acquiescence made him hate her more. He smiled as he recalled her startled yelp; he looked down at her corpse there on the floor. His final thoughts were quite far from contrite. . . and then a single gunshot sliced the night.

Copyright © | Year Posted 2012




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Date: 11/2/2020 1:46:00 PM
Your murder/suicide narrative is a far cry from your odes to chirruping birds and enjoying the sunshine of summer... all the more testament to your writing versatility. Well done and belated congrats on your win ~ John
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Date: 3/21/2014 5:31:00 AM
Brilliant write. Congratulations on the fine win, andrea
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Date: 3/19/2014 5:11:00 PM
Andrea, congratulations... love ~Linda
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Date: 3/19/2014 8:56:00 AM
Hi, Congrats on your placement. Shock! Did not see the ending coming. Great poem. Well constructed. Told a story excellently. Regards Theresa xx
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Date: 3/19/2014 2:19:00 AM
Awesome win, Andrea. ......love-Skat
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Date: 3/18/2014 11:16:00 PM
nice win
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Date: 8/4/2012 7:32:00 PM
great poem...going in my fav list....soupmail
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Date: 3/12/2012 9:04:00 AM
Congratulations on your win in Catie's "Narratives" contest Andrea. Love,Carol
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Date: 3/11/2012 7:30:00 PM
congrats Andrea on a great win for this wonderful composition for Catie.. my entry failed to place but loved to write for it ..
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Date: 3/11/2012 3:48:00 PM
Andrea congrats on your win, missed this first time, love it..David
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Date: 3/3/2012 5:19:00 PM
wow another interesting write with poem. Good luck in Catie's contest. love phyl
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Date: 3/2/2012 9:47:00 AM
Oh whoa! So is that right, he also got killed?? Very gripping tale you write here, Andrea, you do suspense well-- this is a sad write but I enjoyed it :) hugs to you!
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Date: 2/27/2012 8:42:00 PM
wow ..fascinating write Andrea and luv the rhyme scheme.. so cool for a Narrative piece luv.. good luck in the contest.. a wow winner .. to me..
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Date: 2/27/2012 12:33:00 PM
Wow, powerful piece, Andrea. Many congrats on your wins : )
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Date: 2/27/2012 7:52:00 AM
The best to you in Catie's contest Andrea. Love, Carola6y6
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Date: 2/26/2012 6:04:00 PM
goodness! she should have got him with a caste iron fry pan first! Light & Love
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Date: 2/26/2012 2:41:00 PM
Ah yes, inside the garret would definitely be a flighty bullet! This is a very well written poem! I just love how you can write a poem so well that if flows perfectly and makes so much sense! I envy you Andrea! You are a great poetess, master of verse, empress of rhyme!! Well, this is truly an awesome poem my friend! Excellent Work!!
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Date: 2/26/2012 2:24:00 PM
You really have a nice flow going with these last two poems. I have to say, I'm left a little sullen from all the tragedy. I relate more to the bunny. :)
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Date: 2/26/2012 2:08:00 PM
I wasn't expecting the ending. Great write, Andrea. Best wishes in the contest. Love, Kim
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Date: 2/26/2012 1:58:00 PM
WoW!s What a sad and bitter tale and yet one which seems to be not so unheard of these days. Too many people want to blame their spouse for their own mistakes or for dreams they never realized. Great job here. God Bless, JB
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Date: 2/26/2012 1:56:00 PM
Story with surprise ending..Good one that you have penned..The thing is that this happens more often that we would like it to happen..Good luck in the contest..Reads like a winner to me..Thanks for stopping by..I am glad that your clicked on about this poem..Those baby birds are so helpless and bare..Sara
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Date: 2/26/2012 12:42:00 PM
I really like this poem. It is my cup of tea. In fact, I said wow ant the last line. Quite a touch, you arose my slumber. Jancarl
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Date: 2/26/2012 10:57:00 AM
Very much enjoyed this piece Andrea, best of luck in the contest ,Hugs and best wishes , Declan xxx
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Date: 2/26/2012 9:39:00 AM
andie, a different curve here in terms of concept for the theme.. have you been watching suspense thrillers lately?lol... your writing just intrigues the heck out of the reader.!.. how are you?.. i'm better though every now and then, allergy pops up.. been doing my list for the oscars.. i like the artist or incredously loud, brad pitt or oldman, viola davis or glenn close, olivia spenser, max von sydow or plummer, and martin scorsese/ malick (for direction)... did you notice that themes on children were more explored this year?.. i enjoyed incredously loud and the help but i don;t think they are oscar-popular!... no george clooney or descendants for me but both will win, i guess!.. :) huggs!
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Date: 2/26/2012 9:35:00 AM
Excellent write once again my dear Andrea.... Catie will love it as do I...hugs alll day for you.... Michael
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