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Indignity of It All

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Here I sit, on an examination table bored, swinging my feet to and fro waiting for a doctor who will be able to diagnose the reason why I feel low I study the body posters while I wait in my unfashionable blue paper gown I must remember to sit up straight to keep my tushie from being found Another hour goes by, maybe more I'm sure I got forty winks in a nap I can hear him now, outside my door clicking his tongue then 'rap, rap, rap.' A cheesy smile then he reads my chart I could tell him what he needs to know and doctors are supposed to be so smart Well, he should have been here long ago. He shakes my hand then off to the sink where he washes with ten squirts of soap. "You think I'm contagious?" I ask with a blink. "Don't know," he says. "Maybe there's hope." He inquires, "Now, what seems to be wrong?" I ramble symptoms; there are many to convey while squirming from the pinch of my thong. Shouldn't doctors be old, at least turning gray? "Lie back," he mumbles, "and I'll check you out. Blood pressure's high. You have a fever, too." Into his stethoscope I was tempted to shout but he hands me a cup and I'm off to the loo. I clean off the seat from someone's neglect sit quite impatiently, and desperately I try to get enough of a specimen for him to inspect while maneuvering the cup beneath my thigh. Back to the room and the nurse peeks in. A frown on her face makes me start to worry. She seeths the words, "Where have you been?" "My pee cup runneth over," was my true story. Dr. OneSoYoung returns and takes a chair. Eyes of blue, handsome face, but I digress while I'm sitting here with my bottom bare Wondering if my thoughts, I should confess. "Get dressed," he orders, with a look of dread. Must be bad news, I tremble, cold with a chill thinking that by tomorrow I surely will be dead. "You just have a bad cold and here is your bill." I spent all morning thinking I was near death and his diagnosis claims that all I have is a cold. I peeled off my wrap and said in hissing breath "Your bedside manner sucks, if truth be told!" To the pharmacy, I strode with a disgruntled look. I have to pay a fortune for prescribed medication. Druggist or physician, which is the biggest crook? Now I suffer from the malady of acute indignation!

Copyright © | Year Posted 2017




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Date: 7/17/2017 1:28:00 PM
That really cracked me up and that cartoon was great! You presented the perfect imagery for that situation; a great comic pen!
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Lin Lane
Date: 7/17/2017 2:16:00 PM
Thank you every so much, M.L.
Date: 7/17/2017 11:30:00 AM
You feel insignificant while the doctor looks at your chart as if you weren't there and you stand semi nude.Talk about bedside manners. A beautiful poem of indignation and shame.
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Lin Lane
Date: 7/17/2017 2:16:00 PM
Thanks so much, Ralph, for the visit and your thoughts.
Date: 7/14/2017 3:07:00 PM
Stripped of our clothing and our dignity, if you stop and think about it, it is quite comical. You expressed the humor of visiting a doctor's office so splendidly Lin! I love the cartoon. One size paper gown, if you can call it that, doesn't cut it! Lol. A great and clever assessment Lin. : )
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Lin Lane
Date: 7/14/2017 4:03:00 PM
ha and thanks, Connie. Based on the size of the derriere of the cartoon character she'd need two paper gowns. Thanks for enjoying my meditation.
Date: 7/14/2017 1:21:00 PM
Sure made me lol I think we have all had a similar experience but at least we don't get fleeced for costly medication:-) hugs Jan xx
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Lin Lane
Date: 7/14/2017 2:05:00 PM
Love making you laugh. I thought the cartoon fit exactly what my patient's dilemma was trying to convey. Thanks, chic.
Date: 7/14/2017 1:14:00 PM
It always seems like you either pee a quart or nary a drop, I just hate that part. I think about every body has been in this office. Fun write Lin...
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Lin Lane
Date: 7/14/2017 2:01:00 PM
Yeah, Charlie..that's the truth. Thanks for understanding my meaning.
Date: 7/14/2017 11:08:00 AM
Haha...I know the scene all to well...when you get a good one don't let em go.
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Lin Lane
Date: 7/14/2017 2:00:00 PM
I'm sure ya do, Tim. I love my doctor. She's become more like a friend and she doesn't use paper gowns in her office. LOL Thanks.
Date: 7/14/2017 10:26:00 AM
i think we can all relate to this one, lin! you've described your doctor visit very well and i loved the humor running through it...
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Lin Lane
Date: 7/14/2017 10:47:00 AM
A fabrication in totality, Ilene, but you're right. We've all lived at least some of the scenarios. I'm glad you found it humorous and thanks.

Book: Shattered Sighs