In the Heat

I won a chess game in the heat, they say that chess players are nerds, like Robert the rat, he comes into my garden, can't escape my black cat, persistence pays off or rather down like a brown splat. I won a bridge game in the heat, they say that not everyone is suited, like England going into bat, the wicket-keeper waddled out of his crease, too fat, I would have stayed, no devils on my shoulders sat. I won a tennis match, I had my wrong way round hat, played the ladies mixed - all they do is pit - a - pat, I won a bowls match, went and slipped on the mat, alll these games, I think I'll just stick to baccarat. They can't beat me, I'm too hot, ever since I came, only one choice left - I think I'll play the blame game.