In the Dark Mirror

What's this reflection? Sad mockery of a younger, better man's dreams. One hand with a choke-hold on easy prosperity. The other splayed out - each finger scraping for sensual delight. Numb the mind with drink until you no longer care, oh troubled, fearful, nervous man. Let the grinning sultan have his sway. Strength and unbendable pride. Sardonic grin. Imperious eyes - uncaring if a challenge comes or not. It doesn't matter. Nothing matters. Nothing but the now, Lording what you can over who you can while you can. And if one is better than you, grin all the more; for time shall claim you both just the same. Nothing's ever good enough. No-one's ever good enough. No-one but you. Would that their simple minds could fashion keys to unlock the rich mysteries of your mind! But they don't even try - the fools! My God ... What have I done? How have I grown into this? This mockery of manhood. How does this arise from the careful young scholar who bore my name? So gradually, the monster grows ... So innocuously, the serpent shows ... But thank God for the grace of glimpsing the truth with an honest eye. Let me repair myself before I shall die. 24-25 September 2023