In Praise of Women
In Praise of Women
By Elton Camp
How thankful I am for womankind
Who for bearing babies are designed
If all us men could the same to do
There might be one, but never two
It’s a thought I cannot abide
Having another person inside
To think you, for months, are fated
To wake up each morning nauseated
There’s nothing to do but to understand
For most of a year your waist will expand
And when about halfway done
Baby starts to have much fun
He must think it’s quite a trick
To give his mother a hard kick
And still bigger, bigger grows he
Till mother out of balance will be
Atop her bladder he does perch
Up and down he likes to lurch
To the bathroom she has to go
Most every time the kid does so
If a baby stood on my bladder
It would be a serious matter
It wouldn’t be very neat
Being stomped by his feet
Then the baby begins to knock at the door
“You can’t keep me inside here anymore.”
Female pelvis is made quite wide
Between the bones baby can slide
Daddy’s broad at shoulder and narrow at hip
So there’s not enough room for a baby to slip
So the main thing I want to say
“For women give a big hooray!”
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