In Held Sighs
A cold bead of water
The sky’s unrefined tear
Sitting on lonely
A blade of brown grass
Anger
Sadness
Fear
Of what might never be again
Almost sort of had
Hoped to see again
Painted the opposite of hero
The possibility of her anguish
Written as the number before one
Zero.
The shadow of a dad denied
So close yet too far
Abdication of a gold plated crown
Both hands stretched out
Into the layers of soil
Through the rocks
Seeped into the clay’s soul
Impossible
Touched oil then the middle of my world
Evaporated
I await the day she may hopefully want
To see me ever again
She may never call me “dad” again
Just Jelani maybe Jay if I am lucky
Never “dad”, “father”, “friend”?
The fault is never her’s
It’ll always be my chagrin
It is what it is because it can’t be what it isn’t
A cold bead of water
Ran down a brown blade of grass
The sky’s fallen tear
Dreamt dreams with internal screams at what closed eyes see
My princess was stolen from me
Now I can only barely breathe in.
Nightmare.
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