In a Hotel Room

She lay with gloom upon the bed
as outside blinked a garish red
which found its way into her room.
Upon the bed she lay with gloom.

She lay with grief; she lay with rue,
with shabby walls a gray milieu
and circumstance the unmoved thief.
She lay with rue; she lay with grief.

As neon flashed, she lay and thought
of coming west, how hard she'd fought,
and how her dreams had all been dashed.
She lay and thought as neon flashed.

She lay with shame; a thrust of fate
had left her with a wretched weight
and stole her hungering for fame.
A thrust of fate. . . she lay with shame.

Behind closed doors she'll take each john.
She lay with one, and so hereon
she's joined the order of the whores.
She'll take each john behind closed doors.


For the Contest of Black Eyed Susan
Copyright © | Year Posted 2013

Poem

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12
Babcock Avatar
February 25, 2013 at 5:25 PM
You did an awesome write I was wondering where it was going. Congrats on your win. love phyl
Gasun Avatar
February 21, 2013 at 11:02 AM
My big congratulations my dear friend for being the top and first place winner! Cheers! love/ hugs, Leonora
Marszalowicz Avatar
February 21, 2013 at 2:15 AM
refreshingly unpleasant, I mean that. bold and not afraid to make a statement about the un- pleasantries of society, try reading the poem "Jack" by me Karl Marszalowicz thanks.
Jones Avatar
February 20, 2013 at 3:49 PM
Congratulations on your well deserving win...
Puddifoot Avatar
February 20, 2013 at 10:05 AM
congrats on your 1st place win andrea, a darker and sadder piece from you, perhaps I'm odd but I do like dark, gritty poems! perfect rhyme and perfect execution of the form :)
Widjanarko Avatar
February 20, 2013 at 8:49 AM
Congrats on your big win Andrea, this poem is flowing with no obstacle at all, such a beautiful piece of yours Andrea :D enjoyed my reading today - hug, yanny
Kimathi Avatar
February 20, 2013 at 6:54 AM
A beautiful poem this is! Congratulations for your well deserved win! :)
Tams The Golden Girl Avatar
February 20, 2013 at 1:48 AM
Belated congratulations oh talented one xx
Andresen Avatar
February 20, 2013 at 1:27 AM
Good job! - Your hotel is 7 star! - Congratulations! - oxox / / Anne-Lise :)
Haick Avatar
February 19, 2013 at 4:56 PM
Congratulations on an awesome win with this awesome poem, Andrea. Love, Annalise
Johnson Avatar
February 19, 2013 at 4:44 PM
A great win, Andrea. I really enjoyed the sound of the reverse rhyming. Congratulations on your lone no. 1 spot. Love, Joyce
A   Avatar
February 19, 2013 at 4:12 PM
Hello Andrea, CONGRATULATIONS :-) ~ love your awesome winning poem in Susan's contest.. take care.. PD
Jerden Avatar
February 19, 2013 at 2:50 PM
One of your best in my opinion, Andrea. Well deserved win. Cheers, Roy
Roberts Avatar
February 19, 2013 at 2:11 PM
well done Andrea... Seren
May Avatar
February 19, 2013 at 12:31 PM
congrats on your win Andrea
Dillard Avatar
February 19, 2013 at 8:21 AM
Enjoy the accolades! RAY
Gildersleeve Avatar
February 19, 2013 at 7:30 AM
Andrea your poem deserves this # one spot. Congrats on your big win. Warm Smiles, Connie
Ober Avatar
February 15, 2013 at 8:32 AM
Wow, I'm not used to seeing this darker side to your poetry - You've nailed this theme. It takes a certain kind of talent to pen a dark story that rhymes - and you've got that talent in spades!
Williams Avatar
February 15, 2013 at 5:20 AM
had to come back and re-read this after your comment on mine, this is the ting to my yang.....David
Horne Avatar
February 14, 2013 at 1:15 PM
sad but such a powerful write, my friend
Austin Avatar
February 12, 2013 at 12:26 PM
Oh the lady in red, she makes lotsa money, but she makes it in bed. Luck in this risque contest. LOve, daver
Gasun Avatar
February 11, 2013 at 8:29 AM
Another superbly beautiful poem from my very dear great poet friend and favourite! Thank you so much for always sharing your gems and talents. I'm learning so much from you and can't stop thanking you my dearest friend. Wishing you all the best always!
Nair Avatar
February 11, 2013 at 2:42 AM
Rightly you have thought of a social problem and handled with such delicacy, like it:) Jag
Lamoureux Avatar
February 10, 2013 at 7:37 PM
Well said, if you have a chance read my Poem Red Door. I wrote it back in October when I got started here. Not many commented on it so I was concerned the topic was to risqué.
Johnson Avatar
February 10, 2013 at 3:04 PM
So well writen Andrea. It breaks my heart to think of such destiny's.
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