I'm still sane

I'm trying my hardest to portray That through all this sadness I'm still sane But my mind is racing, I can't break free Will someone please rescue me I'm sick of feeling the way I do But the past is making me feel so blue What can I do to make things better Maybe I'll start by writing a letter Pen to paper, thoughts set free The way you loved me damaged me A black cloud over me always there Pain and torture iv had my fair share Maybe there was always something wrong me Maybe the truth will set me free Maybe darkness was my fate Maybe others can relate Simple things I can no longer do Broken hearted through and through What usually brings me so much joy Makes me mad and makes me annoyed Music is my therapist Since day one, headphones in bought me bliss But now I just let the songs play I don't even think "she" could make me stay I don't want to die, I'm not suicidal But I feel I'm just fighting for survival Smile on my face, but my mind is blank I just want to take my life back Coming up are lots of unknowns When I think the worse I feel so alone Many have hurt me, I ignored it all Now I feel that was my downfall If I had stood up for myself and put up a fight Would all of the wrongs be made right Or would she still stopped loving me I suppose the future is not for us to forsee I'm trying my hardest to stay afloat My mind in darkness, so these poems I wrote Music playing but no joy yet So I'll sit here and light another cigarette My heart has never been so broken Failed as a child, my truth never spoken For all that happend is now in the past I know this sadness won't always last I'm letting you know I'm still sane I will fight through all this pain I will make it through to the other side But there are still so many tears left to cry Broken hearts do eventually mend I won't let this be my end When all is better and all said and done Maybe I'll see I'm the lucky one I say I'm fine, but I'm miserable But being happy is preferable Complicated playing followed by I'm with you Her music and love will see me through I'm trying my hardest to portray That through all this sadness I'm still sane Enough lies and games have been played That's the end of my poem, I'm glad you stayed