I'm Sorry: Rewritten

I’m sorry…
I’m not perfect,
Yet you expect me to be.
I mess up. I make mistakes.
But I don’t care.
I’m sorry you hate me
For how much I have changed.
It’s a direct result
Of the consequences of your actions.
The repercussions of the pain you’ve caused me.
Also, I lied. I do care.
Sorry I let you get to me.

I never uttered my feelings
Because I knew you wouldn’t understand.
It was awkward in your presence
And I struggled to build courage.
My voice always betrayed me;
It never felt safe with you. 

I’m sorry you think I’m too nice,
Too forgiving as you’ve said.
You seem to hate me
Because I’ve forgiven you
Over and again though you never deserved. 
The night I broke down,
Sobbing in your ear.
You found my breaking point,
Said it’s something you don’t have. 
You wanted to see if I did. 

I gave you power over me.
All of it in your hands
And you used it to hurt me.
Always.
What’s worse is you knew
The power you had.
I thought you didn’t. 
Your feelings were always first and foremost over mine.
You’d hurt others just to hurt me.
You lied and blamed it on me.
Had me doubt everyone and everything. 

I’m sorry I wasn’t there
Though only because you pushed me away.
I’ve disappointed you.
I’ve apologized unnecessarily
And you hate it.
I loved you
And you couldn't comprehend that.
Your fear came in volumes
You could not fathom. 

Mostly,
I’m not sorry we’re not friends.
I’m just sorry I never said goodbye.


Randomly went into the first poem I wrote on here and started rewriting it. Here's the version. (Chose to post because I like comparing old works to new works.)

Copyright © Micheala Ruth September | Year Posted 2023

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