Laura Davies | + Follow Poet |
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I'm Sorry Mom

The inklings of a perspective,
I had never even pondered,
That despite all the mistakes,
Not a single year was squandered,
I have held you to a standard,
That nobody could could live up to,
An ideal from a perfect world,
Something I couldn’t even do,
Now I am left with this horribly sinking feeling,
Deep inside my bones,
For this is part of MY healing,
It has nothing to do with you.

I am brought back to a time,
Filled with anger and blame,
When I felt that judgment,
When I felt that shame,
The bitter pill swallowed,
That poison just for you,
With all those fingers pointing,
What else could you possibly do?
But take on that role,
The sacrifice of our family,
Though I didn’t see it,
For you did it so amicably,
Not once have I seen you,
Cast aside that responsibility,
And I am sorry it took me this long,
To stop questioning your credibility,

I was completely blind,
But now I see,
That a lot of your shame,
Belongs to me,
To dad, to my sisters, 
To even the Wiebes,
And that with every person’s problems,
You took credit for,
You saved us from the shame,
That we couldn’t ignore,
You willing took on,
Every single issue,
To this day not a single thing,
Have I see you dispute,

How could I miss,
Such an obvious truth,
That what you built was much greater,
Than what I had to lose. 

That at the end of the day,
Now it is time,
To take back my shame,
For it was always mine. 
Cast off that shame mom, 
It isn’t yours,
It is finally time,
To stop keeping score. 

For after all this time,
I finally see,
That all of your choices,
Were the best they could be,
That the hand you were dealt,
Was incredibly tough,
And that despite how I’ve acted,
You deserve to be loved. 
 
Note: Wiebes were a family I knew growing up.

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