Im So Sorry

im sorry i never told you that i was a intimidated by you the way you talked and walked and acted so strong when i ran away you were left alone to deal with the ramifications of my life you were just a little girl and i abanded you we were best of friends as well as sisters but i left you all alone you found out you had cancer and it tore you apart a 13 year old young girl forced to face the world alone im sorry i was a coward and lied to you about my life the things i did were embarressing and i was out of my mind i couldn't hold your hand or wipe away your tears i wasn't there to comfort you or tell you it's all right i never lied about loving you that was always true inside my head i was dead and didn't want to destroy you your best friend died and you were a wreck again i wasn't there but never did a day go by that i didn't care you had two children through the years and this aunt wasnt's around they grew up not knowing that your sister loved them so you struggle with pain on an everyday basis and im three thousand miles away i ruined our relationship once again when i told you i was gay the drugs destroyed my inner being to the point of no return i did the worst and hurt the best but never no more than i betrayed you im so sorry little sister that words are not enough id trade my life today to take all my ugliness away behind these eyes lies a remorseful soul longing to love you and make this whole i try to reach out and talk to you but you never answer my call i guess this is all my fault for hurting you long ago in time thats your time ill be waiting here to see your face and hear your voice saying that you still care i love you sister!!! (FOR THE CHRISTIE AND SHARON "I'M SORRY"CONTEST)