I'M Not Ready

I'm not trying to leave you. I don't want an enlightening experience that will change me forever. I don't need to find myself. I've been right here all my life. I'm not trying to run away from you to find some mid life desperate adventure. And I'm not searching for the meaning of my existence. I'm here because God put me here. I'm not even trying to make you see through my window. Its not the greatest view, but its the one my life gave to me. I don't want to bore you with my thoughts. I don't have the energy or even the desire to change you. But.... I'm just not ready to let go of the butterfly's that I still get sometimes in my gut when your telling your friends some story that I've heard dozens of times already, but still have to smile when I watch you tell it. I'm not ready to stomp out that last little hope of a spark that might still be somewhere under those cold logs in the fireplace. I'm not ready to turn the song off yet. Its already been turned down so low by the years that I can barely hear it. I love that song. And you promised me once that you'd dance with me. So I just can't leave yet. If I seem unhappy or if I act angry and cold, its only because I'm having a really hard time leaving the page that I never got to finish with you. And I'm not ready to let go yet. Maybe tomorrow. But not today.