Illuminated

The facets of this glimmering rock all catch the light equally true yet some absorb it with gravities pull while others reflect, like a mirror would do some are dark, and have no glitter next to others that shine near to perfection what is this stone that is precious, and litter is this deliberate? what is the connection? a gem? or an encrustation, to be disregarded? a piece to display? a bringer of light? or a cause for dismay, to be discarded? "this" is the me, i both loved, and hated both wrong and right, illuminated out of all the possabilities how did i use my abilities? i could have created has opportunity waited? i hid behind familiarities made no difference at all and ignored destinies call a future is a thing we make opportunities are things that we take not leave for that i grieve all the many futures that could be spread out from now leading up and down, and how do i figure out which i'll see one like the uplifting branches of a tree? or wrapped in dirt, like the roots of me? trees grow up, and so shall i shorn of ignorance of what i am no longer occupied with getting high i now see, and fear to believe, the way things are now, is the way they'll stay oh God, won't you take my memory most are dim, from smoke and drink yet they make my heart sink i can not stand the indignity! i must be free, of what i was before i would be me, no less, or more i shall pour it all out, to make room inside where lust, fear, and pride used to hide i am filled with longing, for belonging it's spilling out, like water on the ground i am restless, my spirit unbound