If You Could Change Your Past

Twas, it is a riddle, my past so deeply despair... If I could change my past, I would not be here... If I knew I was gonna be marked, as soon as I took my first breath... My first choice in life, would had been DEATH... But, yet haste, I made it thus far, Burden of despair a painful scar... I carry 10,000,000, that's ten million crosses for those in pain... And not a second chance in life, do I have to gain... Yes, I chosen to be nailed to this cross... For I will die for the wounded and lost... If I could in by any means, die to rid the world of all its sorrow... I'll die right here today, and rise tomorrow... Still you ponder as you question me... For things that has happened were meant to be... For all the wrong, a right was learned... For all the good things put out, a blessing was earned... I've lived a life in a storm... Being tossed and thrown and even torn... Yet, I still stand... By all the hurt I've taken, I'm still stronger than man... But here I sit doing time... Sitting in innocence, for there's no guilt in my crime... People that hate me, carry their nails. Blasphemy me and curse me, with their hateful yells... For they carry jealousy and evil hearts... Their fast hateful words are thrown like darts... And they don't miss a single throw... They hit my heart and pierce my soul... Yet I still try to stay strong.... For I forgive them, for all their wrongs... This riddle maybe hard to understand... But life is useless, so there's no harm to make it end... I may be young, and have more knowledge to gain... But it's not worth walking and carrying, all the burdens of pain... I lived a life, both good and bad... I had times of joy and plenty, were sad... But now, all is lost, and I've had enough... Life is hard, and love is tough... But I gave all I could, the best I can. My life was cheated, with these cards in my hand... Yes< I can make it better, there is no doubt in my mind... I could forget the past, and leave it all behind... But I choose not, because it's always there. And no matter how hard I try, I'm still all troubled and in despair... I don't think I'd change, anything in my past at all... For I gained wisdom and knowledge, and that's about all.... written 07-20-2000- in CCJ, this was an assignment from mental health. the original title given was "What would you like to change in your past that would keep you out of this trouble" CCJ: is Covington County Jail