If We Ever Were Friends
Nauseated thoughts about colourless, odourless, demeaning and hurtful words
replay in my head, making me feel so small .
They swell in my mind, twisting my stomach, urging me to throw-up
poisonous venom of false accusations you've pumped in my blood -stream.
But I know , that after I'll regurgitate this heartache you've caused, I will be relieved.
I will celebrate the accomplishment of living without thinking of your existence.
This time there'll be no effort to repair, nor would I feel the need to defend myself
for things I didn't do.This time I'll take no wrong decisions
No, I will not be coming back to you , to your illusional lies'parasites.
No, I will not clinch to memories of better times and inseperable moments
Of sugar- coat sweetness and diabetic aftermath .
My subconscious will memorize , but only the final act of your dramatic moods.
Our friendship is at permanent loss, but I won't waste precious time
scattering its ashes, nor mourning its death.
No, there'll be no regret. I 'll embrace new rose-gardens
without feeling bruised , without feeling used, after all has been done and said.
Fiction poem - just in case : ) ! Though in reality not all friends
we so call friends are true.
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