If only I hadn't lost my mind;
I blamed myself and later you
For doubting me; could not abide
The lies, the hate that carried me
To actions formed impatiently,
In haste, you see,
Disguised so well by finery;
I fooled them all then stole the key.
If only my dreams were peaceful,
Untouched by demons and monsters
Propelling me ever closer to the edge;
Bringing together hopes of Triumph
And Disaster, clashing as one;
My enemies caught in a perfect trap
Fashioned by shiny, sharp tools
That later turned on me.
If only I had thought ahead
And stored my goods in firesafe;
I lost it all in one fell swoop,
Lamented loud for all to hear
I'm nothing now, the end is near;
I lost my hold, there's naught but fear
Remaining here, now all may leer;
There is no hope, I face the rear.
If only I had spoke with care
When white coats came to worry me
With talk of cures and nursing homes;
My loving friends encouraged me
To take a bed, enjoy the rest;
They broke my faith with hurtful lies;
If only hours would pass in silence,
Not roar unhindered in their noise.
If only I had been meek,
Mine would be the earth.
Written in response to "If" by Rudyard Kipling
Copyright © deb radke | Year Posted 2018
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