If I Were a Carpenter

If I had a hammer and a sickle I’d pound Mr. Putin into a pickle If I were a carpenter, I’d saw off his limbs then to a guillotine I’d nail him in If I were King for a day, I’d tie him to my chair then plug it in to the electric grid and let him dangle there If the sun refused to shine, I’d get him drunk on vinegar-wine and then I’d put him in a cement mixer ~ Laugh all night, I’d get my kicks, sir ~ Thought I'd live out one of Tom Cunningham's unpublished fantasies tonight ~