If I Cry

If I cry It must be the memory Of a skirt unlifted by a gust To still a boy's misery And wipe my eyes dry Of tears For the way time sears Us like flowers And reaped my mother Before I was ready to let her go. If I cry I cry for days she sheltered me From a child's web of fallacy And put her spittle on my knee Where bruised flesh Was a boy's view of tragedy. I would press my face Against her dress And feared no goliath Or loneliness. If I cry I cry for evenings on the porch When she gathered us Our feet white with blowing dust And hunger like a miner Drilling us We had so little to eat some days But she with prayers picked fruits Of heaven's mercy And we thankful ate together And heard her ancient anecdotes Of ancestors' exploits that floats Still upon a manhood sky. If I cry I cry that mothers' days are meaningless When the sight of flowers Are frail veils upon a grave And the customized Christmas cards Will not sparkle her eyes Just before the kiss upon my cheek Honoring me for faithfulness And knowing her love measures more More than a day More than the years that sums earth's decay. If I cry I cry for the love of my mother For the woman and life giver For God to bring Order to this unruly thing That spoons our purpose to a cup Swallow us Before the dusk with each sup Of time, diminishing us I cry for faith to hold my trust Against the agony of loss Death is a demonic disgust That makes me long To substitute all tears for angels song. If I cry Preserved my hope with brine of eye To live again Without death or pain And run with my mother Through the clapping ovation of summer rain.