I'D Rather Freeze!
HER:
I'm on this blind date.
HIM:
(Baby, it's cold outside).
HER:
This date AIN'T so great!
HIM:
(Baby, it's cold outside).
HER:
I'd rather be home...
and watch paint dry!
It takes me five hours to get ready!
My Dior dress looks sexy and chic!
This half-wit is dressed in a teddy -
my best friend set me up with a freak!
HER:
We sit down to eat.
HIM:
(Baby, you look so fine).
HER:
His breath smells like feet!
HIM:
(Wishing that you were mine).
HER:
If I pass some gas -
will this jerk leave?
His manners and looks are atrocious -
and broccoli is caught in his tooth!
I'm sorry if I sound precocious:
but he makes a wild warthog seem couth!
HER:
I've got to get home.
HIM:
(Baby, it's cold out there).
HER: (thinking)
You short, KNOCK-KNEED gnome!
HIM:
(Oh, the scent of your hair...).
HER:
I really do think...
this night is done!
You may be a nice beast for someone?
But I'm not the Shrek-ess whom you seek.
My "best friend" will surely adore you -
and entertain you into next week!
HER & HIM:
Baby, it's cold outside!
Sung to the tune of: Baby, it's cold outside!
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