I Wish I Could Remember What My Smile Looks Like

You can see the depression, the sleep deprivation, the tears I've lost, and the blood I've bled. And yet, you fail to see the pain, and the strength, you have given to me. You can see the passion in my eyes, you can tell the sound of hate in my voice. Most of all you can see there's more, more behind these simple eyes... than you would ever think. With every second that passes, the more my heart will break. In two, now four, then eight. With every second that passes, my hands shake, my voice quakes, my thoughts race. I go blank, and I can no longer speak. I used to know what a smile looked like. I no longer do. I know more of tears, and sadness. Of pain, of drugs, of fire, of knives. Once upon a time, you helped me. You no longer do. One day I couldn't take it anymore. I broke. I wish I could remember what my smile looks like...