I Was Four and Happy All the Time

I will always be your daddy he said
Throwing me in the air, catching me.
Liked daddies do.
Swinging me up into his arms,
Hugging me as I clung to his side
Like daughters do

I was four and wanted to marry him
I was four and loved dandelions and my daddy
I was four, and happy all of the time
But that was the last time I saw him.
Until I was ten
And then I only saw him for about six minutes
When I dropped off an envelope for my mother
His face was angry 
And he had gotten mean.
I tried to hug him like daughters do
But I was pushed away
He had a new family
I was a throw-away-girl
It was the first time I knew

For my mother had
protected me from this
She had saved me from knowing
She had kept his memory safe inside me
In a good way, so I could stay happy.
She had sacrificed her own feelings to raise me up
So she could nurture me, her daughter, with hope
And optimism that my Daddy still loved me.
Like a good mother does.
Copyright © | Year Posted 2019

Poem

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Deschler Avatar
May 10, 2019 at 5:51 PM
I can relate to this because my childhood had both good and bad times too, but it is the happy memories I hold onto... This poem was written and expressed beautifully Caren. Nice work :)
Krutsinger Avatar
May 10, 2019 at 7:04 PM
Thank you very much Kelly.
Michael Avatar
May 10, 2019 at 9:49 AM
It happens to a lot of kids today...and a lot get hurt...there must be a better way...to make those transitions...because it will continue to happen...love breaks....Well expressed...
Krutsinger Avatar
May 10, 2019 at 10:12 AM
Thank you my friend. I am an elementary school counselor, hearing these heartbreaking stories weekly.
Kashyap Avatar
May 10, 2019 at 8:08 AM
This is the best poem I have read by you, Caren. This poetry touched my heart. Loved it!
Krutsinger Avatar
May 10, 2019 at 10:13 AM
Thank yo so much Toopsi. I appreciate your wonderful comment. I see and I weep.
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