I Was Four and Happy All the Time

I will always be your daddy he said Throwing me in the air, catching me. Liked daddies do. Swinging me up into his arms, Hugging me as I clung to his side Like daughters do I was four and wanted to marry him I was four and loved dandelions and my daddy I was four, and happy all of the time But that was the last time I saw him. Until I was ten And then I only saw him for about six minutes When I dropped off an envelope for my mother His face was angry And he had gotten mean. I tried to hug him like daughters do But I was pushed away He had a new family I was a throw-away-girl It was the first time I knew For my mother had protected me from this She had saved me from knowing She had kept his memory safe inside me In a good way, so I could stay happy. She had sacrificed her own feelings to raise me up So she could nurture me, her daughter, with hope And optimism that my Daddy still loved me. Like a good mother does.