I Want

I never wanted to be Those people single at 30. I feared resemblance of the tv shows and movies. I dreamed of being One of the lucky ones. Meet in our 20s, Fall in love And find out I’m worth it. I wish for friendship And invites over, Maybe even ‘Can I come’ That make people question What the relationship is. I want phone calls, Where ‘hey you’ Is laced With meaning. Sitting in the room, With no plans Until the phone rings And I’m told we’re going out. Spontaneous drives, A proper date, Messy talks That turn to trust. I dream of Handwritten notes, Flowers if they wish, But effort nonetheless. Showing up unannounced, With a smile of confidence Because the parentals Seem to adore you. Late night drives When I fight with my sister, Or the household is getting too much And you just let me cry. No complaints, Just simple understanding. I crave a hand reaching out, Someone holding me with purpose. Their arms secure around me, And forehead kisses. I want that confusion When we’re out And I ask how you know that. You’ll say ‘Because I know you.’ And you’ll tell me The little things you’ve noticed; The ones nobody else has. You’ll know me like the back of your hand. I want the chance to be myself Without feeling like it’s wrong. I want comfortable silence Where I’m not accused Of never speaking. I want that moment Where we share earbuds, The intimacy of music Between us. I want the inside jokes Where we share a look And burst into laughter With everyone confused. I want ‘let me know when you’re home’, Falling asleep in your company, The secret sharing at 3a.m. when we can’t sleep, And your dog getting excited when I walk in. That ‘it made me think of you’ That makes my heart flutter. You offer your jacket And it smells of you. You don’t let me return it, You’ve got plenty. Sharing food, Or knowing orders. You offer me your chips Even though it’s your favourite. I wish for a love so deep, So fond and so kind. Real, raw, and open That the world will be jealous. A love where I feel safe, Happy and secure. I want what they have. Before I hit 30.