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I walk with sadness

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I love you so much mommy and was not prepared for your death
for that last gasp at life- 
and the reality of it is dragging me down
the sadness within me is raw and my heart is bleeding
I feel lonely and isolated and lost . . . 
floating like a balloon drifting to nowhere
does anyone truly understand my confusion-  my grief
my deep sadness and my endless weeping . . . 
you wore a rose pink dress and gosh you looked pretty
I can still smell the scent of all the pink roses choking me
at the cemetery it seemed a thousand birds sang just for you
and the sky was as blue as a cool lake . . . 
and the breeze whispered to me your last words-  I love you sweet girl
I feel most days like my legs are heavy and my insides are hallow
and I pledge to hold this sadness to my heart forever and ever
though the pain is terrible-  the truth is I cannot let go of it . . . 
oh mommy, I planted you a garden today-  like I promised you I would
and each bloom is in memory of you . . . 

June 5, 2019

Poetry/Free Verse/I walk with sadness
Copyright Protected, ID 19-1150-106-02
All Rights Reserved.  Written under Pseudonym.

Written for the contest, Going Deep Within An Emotion
sponsor, Sheri Fresonke Harper

12th Place

Copyright © | Year Posted 2019

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Date: 8/2/2019 11:45:00 AM
Powerful write, Dear Heart. Congrats on your win. A mother's passing does leave a giant hole in the heart, but, only until you're reunited someday.
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Date: 7/27/2019 6:26:00 PM
Congratulations Dear Heart, on your win with this poem of loss. I felt the increasing sadness and yet felt hope with that planted garden. Bravo
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Date: 6/9/2019 3:25:00 AM
A marvelous tribute, and I am sure heaven has shared it with your proud mother, Constance.
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Wiishkobe Ode Avatar
Dear Heart- Wiishkobe Ode
Date: 6/9/2019 11:55:00 AM
Thank you Caren ~
Date: 6/6/2019 7:17:00 AM
What can replace the pain of losing mother? Partying ? Shopping? Singing? Dancing? Enjoying with kids and friends? Nothing. Nothing I say. The pain kills us especially when it is unexpected. I'm so sorry D.H. but have hope that things will slowly go better. More strength to you.
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Wiishkobe Ode Avatar
Dear Heart- Wiishkobe Ode
Date: 6/6/2019 8:29:00 AM
Swetha, the pain I feel will walk with me all the days of my life on this earth, there is no healing and fading in my future, thank you so much for visiting and for the wonderful comment ~
Date: 6/5/2019 11:57:00 PM
G'day Dear Heart … a lovely tribute for your Mum, and in your verse the pain of you losing her in the flesh shows through, but the love of her memory is very strong and a garden is a wonderful memorial - thank you Dear Heart - Lindsay
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Wiishkobe Ode Avatar
Dear Heart- Wiishkobe Ode
Date: 6/6/2019 8:27:00 AM
Lindsay, thank you for your compassion and for your nice comment, I see my mom in every beautiful flower~