Notes About The Poem

I Think You Stink

I've tried to tell you you’ve got bad halitosis When you open your mouth folk can’t fail to notice! The stench of your putrid dog breath I simply abhor Just use a toothbrush before you head out the door! I’ve dropped subtle hints but you don’t take the bait I even left you mouthwash when you had a blind date! Last Christmas I gave you some soap on a rope It’s still in its box; so I’ve just given up hope! If you use a deodorant perhaps you’d then get hired Your personal hygiene leaves so much to be desired! The impression you give is that you’re a total slob It’s no wonder that employer’s won’t give you a job! You claim that you’re happy with the ‘caveman look’ As your landlady I’m telling you to go sling your hook! ***********FICTION WRITE******************** ‘*sling your hook’ means leave or go away I wish I had the guts to say what I really felt Contest Sponsored by Line Gauthier 8/10/18
Copyright © | Year Posted 2018

Poem

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Messina Avatar
August 12, 2018 at 8:18 AM
I have an ex brother-in-law that would have fit this bill perfectly! Excellent write, Jan!
Allison Avatar
August 12, 2018 at 9:18 AM
Leave a copy of the poem there lol:-) hugs jan x
Godwin Avatar
August 11, 2018 at 12:59 PM
So well composed with rhymes that flow and a giggle per couplet was ultra fun for me. You let 'em have it, you did - this person is probably still in the bathroom brushing and gargling, if NOT, dense is their name. I'm assuming it is fiction and I don't have to be concerned about this dense non-person. Oh, still grinning. All the best ... CayCay
Allison Avatar
August 11, 2018 at 4:01 PM
Just a fiction poem but based there is a man it could apply to - he lives in the road now far to us, you don't want to stand near him!:-) hugs Jan xx
Roper Avatar
August 11, 2018 at 10:21 AM
Nicely done, Jan, man don't get the hint... :)
Allison Avatar
August 11, 2018 at 4:00 PM
Thanks Eve, just a fun poem:-) hugs Jan xx
Deo Avatar
August 11, 2018 at 5:27 AM
Shalom, shalom (U know I avoid reading these fun posts, Jan, until after or long BEFORE, church meetings). This time I get comfort that your hubby co-writes or listens to your work. So, glad to accept the fiction. Except for that teenager you could have taken instead of hubby, Halitosis does holy things. Hugs, Anil
Allison Avatar
August 11, 2018 at 5:38 AM
Thanks Anil:-) I get hubby to help me with an odd word if I'm stuck but to be honest he is not a poetry lover and when I go to open mic nights he drops me off and picks me up but doesn't stay:-) hugs Jan xx
Smith Avatar
August 10, 2018 at 7:14 PM
I guess I shouldn't have eaten that garlic...lol
Allison Avatar
August 11, 2018 at 5:39 AM
LOL Tim:-) hugs Jan xx
Dietrich Avatar
August 10, 2018 at 6:00 PM
Oh, Jan, I love how you took this theme. I have no idea how to do this contest but now I might get inspired to write something like this: talking to a person about my pet peeve about them!!
Allison Avatar
August 11, 2018 at 5:40 AM
I struggled to think of something without writing about personal things which could have made the poem vitriolic lol:-) hugs Jan xx
Dietrich Avatar
August 10, 2018 at 6:00 PM
I'm down to only five comments left to go. OH BOY
Allison Avatar
August 11, 2018 at 5:41 AM
I am struggling to keep up Andrea!:-) hugs Jan xx
Michael Avatar
August 10, 2018 at 3:37 PM
Going to gargle a bit...stinky mouth can be a horrible thing....A very important one indeed...All the best Jan
Allison Avatar
August 11, 2018 at 5:41 AM
Thanks Arturo:-) hugs Jan xx
Leffanta Avatar
August 10, 2018 at 3:33 PM
"Every dog loves its own smell", but it is a challenge to convince humans they are not dogs! Even if you don't win, think of all the landladies busy posting your poem on a door! Well done! Aloha! Rico
Allison Avatar
August 11, 2018 at 5:42 AM
love that comment Rico:-) )hugs Jan xx
Pigeon Tart Avatar
August 10, 2018 at 12:08 PM
Bibbles Balore! (that's giggles galore with my nose plugged) ;) xomo!
Allison Avatar
August 11, 2018 at 5:42 AM
Cheers Mo:-) hugs Jan xx
Callus Avatar
August 10, 2018 at 9:37 AM
You dropped enough hints, Jan...time to spray air freshener every time he's close by! Perhaps eating garlic would help eliminate all the other smells:) Hugs // paul
Allison Avatar
August 10, 2018 at 9:54 AM
LOL Paul, am glad to say its a fiction write, don't think I'd have the guts to tell anyone for real!:-) hugs Jan xx
Cunningham Avatar
August 10, 2018 at 9:21 AM
Haha well that's told him Jan, nothing worse than someone else's bad breath or BO, phew. Good luck. Tom
Allison Avatar
August 10, 2018 at 9:23 AM
There is a man who lives not far from us (on his own I hasten to add) I stood downwind from him in the supermarket queue ... will say no more but I think I'll carry a peg now lol:-) hugs jan xx
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