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I Think You Stink

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I've tried to tell you you’ve got bad halitosis When you open your mouth folk can’t fail to notice! The stench of your putrid dog breath I simply abhor Just use a toothbrush before you head out the door! I’ve dropped subtle hints but you don’t take the bait I even left you mouthwash when you had a blind date! Last Christmas I gave you some soap on a rope It’s still in its box; so I’ve just given up hope! If you use a deodorant perhaps you’d then get hired Your personal hygiene leaves so much to be desired! The impression you give is that you’re a total slob It’s no wonder that employer’s won’t give you a job! You claim that you’re happy with the ‘caveman look’ As your landlady I’m telling you to go sling your hook! ***********FICTION WRITE******************** ‘*sling your hook’ means leave or go away I wish I had the guts to say what I really felt Contest Sponsored by Line Gauthier 8/10/18

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Charles Messina

Date: 8/12/2018 8:18:00 AM

I have an ex brother-in-law that would have fit this bill perfectly! Excellent write, Jan!

Jan Allison
Date: 8/12/2018 9:18:00 AM

Leave a copy of the poem there lol:-) hugs jan x

Caycay Jennings

Date: 8/11/2018 12:59:00 PM

So well composed with rhymes that flow and a giggle per couplet was ultra fun for me. You let 'em have it, you did - this person is probably still in the bathroom brushing and gargling, if NOT, dense is their name. I'm assuming it is fiction and I don't have to be concerned about this dense non-person. Oh, still grinning. All the best ... CayCay

Jan Allison
Date: 8/11/2018 4:01:00 PM

Just a fiction poem but based there is a man it could apply to - he lives in the road now far to us, you don't want to stand near him!:-) hugs Jan xx

Eve Roper

Date: 8/11/2018 10:21:00 AM

Nicely done, Jan, man don't get the hint... :)

Jan Allison
Date: 8/11/2018 4:00:00 PM

Thanks Eve, just a fun poem:-) hugs Jan xx

Anil Deo

Date: 8/11/2018 5:27:00 AM

Shalom, shalom (U know I avoid reading these fun posts, Jan, until after or long BEFORE, church meetings). This time I get comfort that your hubby co-writes or listens to your work. So, glad to accept the fiction. Except for that teenager you could have taken instead of hubby, Halitosis does holy things. Hugs, Anil

Jan Allison
Date: 8/11/2018 5:38:00 AM

Thanks Anil:-) I get hubby to help me with an odd word if I'm stuck but to be honest he is not a poetry lover and when I go to open mic nights he drops me off and picks me up but doesn't stay:-) hugs Jan xx

Tim Smith

Date: 8/10/2018 7:14:00 PM

I guess I shouldn't have eaten that garlic...lol

Jan Allison
Date: 8/11/2018 5:39:00 AM

LOL Tim:-) hugs Jan xx

Andrea Dietrich

Date: 8/10/2018 6:00:00 PM

Oh, Jan, I love how you took this theme. I have no idea how to do this contest but now I might get inspired to write something like this: talking to a person about my pet peeve about them!!

Jan Allison
Date: 8/11/2018 5:40:00 AM

I struggled to think of something without writing about personal things which could have made the poem vitriolic lol:-) hugs Jan xx

Andrea Dietrich

Date: 8/10/2018 6:00:00 PM

I'm down to only five comments left to go. OH BOY

Jan Allison
Date: 8/11/2018 5:41:00 AM

I am struggling to keep up Andrea!:-) hugs Jan xx

Arturo Michael

Date: 8/10/2018 3:37:00 PM

Going to gargle a bit...stinky mouth can be a horrible thing....A very important one indeed...All the best Jan

Jan Allison
Date: 8/11/2018 5:41:00 AM

Thanks Arturo:-) hugs Jan xx

Rico Leffanta

Date: 8/10/2018 3:33:00 PM

"Every dog loves its own smell", but it is a challenge to convince humans they are not dogs! Even if you don't win, think of all the landladies busy posting your poem on a door! Well done! Aloha! Rico

Jan Allison
Date: 8/11/2018 5:42:00 AM

love that comment Rico:-) )hugs Jan xx

Maureen Mcgreavy

Date: 8/10/2018 12:08:00 PM

Bibbles Balore! (that's giggles galore with my nose plugged) ;) xomo!

Jan Allison
Date: 8/11/2018 5:42:00 AM

Cheers Mo:-) hugs Jan xx

Paul Callus

Date: 8/10/2018 9:37:00 AM

You dropped enough hints, Jan...time to spray air freshener every time he's close by! Perhaps eating garlic would help eliminate all the other smells:) Hugs // paul

Jan Allison
Date: 8/10/2018 9:54:00 AM

LOL Paul, am glad to say its a fiction write, don't think I'd have the guts to tell anyone for real!:-) hugs Jan xx

Tom Cunningham

Date: 8/10/2018 9:21:00 AM

Haha well that's told him Jan, nothing worse than someone else's bad breath or BO, phew. Good luck. Tom

Jan Allison
Date: 8/10/2018 9:23:00 AM

There is a man who lives not far from us (on his own I hasten to add) I stood downwind from him in the supermarket queue ... will say no more but I think I'll carry a peg now lol:-) hugs jan xx