I Think My Wife Is a Vampire

I think my wife is a vampire, My body shivers with fright; For some apparent reason, She stays up late at night! Last week, she ordered a steak, I gazed in stunning awe; She took one peek at the menu, And wanted it nearly raw! No longer a "bubbly" red head, She's dyed her hair to black; Freedom of expression's one thing, But I don't want a heart attack! Candles adorn the hallway, My emotions are withdrawn; She always wants to stay inside, Fearing the break of dawn! Eerie are the days before me, Curiosity fails to escape; "Sweetie, are you gothic?" "What's up with the cape?! I wanna make a stand, To show the wife who's boss; One question stirs inside of me, "Does she fear a cross?" Changes right before my eyes, What's happening to my honey? Not only is she different, Her voice sounds rather funny! I want her to see a doctor, My goal's to do what's right; No longer does she kiss my neck, Instead, she tries to bite! She disappears in the mirror, Her skin is white as snow; What's happenin' to my sweetie? She's lost that heavenly glow! Maybe I'll hire an exorcist, Give me a moment to think; Is it just my imagination, Or is it I who needs a shrink?!