Home » Poems » Terry Flood » I Think Im In Danger - Away In a Manger Parody

I Think Im In Danger - Away In a Manger Parody

I think I’m in danger
I could end up dead
When my wife smells the perfume
on her side of the bed
The perfumes I buy her
From a cheap back-street dive
Don’t smell like this perfume
It’s Chanel number Five

She’s been away a few days
Visiting her sick mother
So I brought home a Nympho 
For a bit of the other
But my wife said this bedroom
Always smells of rank farts
But it now smells like a boudoir
That’s frequented by tarts

She’d smelt it and I told her
What jumped into my head
That the little Lord Jesus
Was asleep in our bed
But he smelt just like a manger
Kinda sawdust and dung
So I sprayed him with perfume
Well it had to be done

She cursed and I was thrown out
By the tip of her toe
And I flew through the doorway
Coming down in the snow
So it seems that like Mary
During that first Christmas      
I shall go to meet Jesus
While I’m sat on my ass

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Paula Goldsmith

Date: 12/21/2021 9:42:00 AM

A cute/fun write. Thanks for the laugh. Have a Blessed Christmas and 2022.......................

Terry Flood
Date: 12/21/2021 11:03:00 AM

Thank you, Paula, I’ve done three parodies this Christmas, but this is my favourite. Terry

Eve Roper

Date: 12/2/2021 6:27:00 PM

hahahaha, cold ass huh

Terry Flood
Date: 12/3/2021 11:04:00 AM

Chilly baubles are not to be sniffed at, Eve, Terry

Ilene Bauer

Date: 12/1/2021 4:59:00 PM

you are so funny, terry! this one is especially clever, with the perfect ending line. well done!

Terry Flood
Date: 12/2/2021 6:03:00 AM

Thanks Ilene. I always hope our devout friends will see the tongue in cheek humour in my jovial digs at religion and not take offence. Of course, if they’re right… GULP! Sooner or later, I’ll have to explain myself. Eek! ;-) Terry

Tom Cunningham

Date: 12/1/2021 1:48:00 PM

Lol, never scrimp on the perfume, the ladies can smell a fake a mile off. Hope you're well Terry, been away for a few days, Shrewsbury and Chester, Tom

Terry Flood
Date: 12/1/2021 2:49:00 PM

Thanks, Tom. Hope you had a good time away. Terry

L Milton Hankins

Date: 12/1/2021 1:47:00 PM

Delightful! Funny, funny. Inspired me to think about writing a parody on a Christmas carol. This is so damned funny, Terry. You have such a sense of humor!!!

L Milton Hankins
Date: 12/1/2021 7:03:00 PM

Indeed, we do, but it works well with the tune I am most familiar with, American-style.

Terry Flood
Date: 12/1/2021 2:55:00 PM

I only found out today, that the UK and America has different melodies for Away In A Manger. So I crossed my fingers that it would still work. Glad you enjoyed, Milt. Terry

David Kavanagh

Date: 12/1/2021 12:42:00 PM

Crazy stuff Terry, the excuses that might jump into one’s heads if nearly caught in the act, madcap humour as always, you could’ve said it was a stray sheep you put up for the night, but I’m guessing the end result would be the same, cheers David

Terry Flood
Date: 12/1/2021 2:58:00 PM

Thanks, David. Alas, she had already found the sheep in the spare room. ;-) Terry