I Remember

I still remember
The girl you flirted with
When we went on a break
And weren’t seeing other people.

Your friend told me
You were out on dates
With your ex
Baby momma.

(She took your profile pic
I used to stare at forever.)

He sent me the voice note,
Where the girl explained. 
Said you walked her to the car,
And used the line.

I didn’t know it was a line
Until she said it too.
‘You’re so beautiful,
It’s distracting.’

What bull that was,
And I fell for it.

You may have forgotten her,
But I never did.
I looked up her account
And tried to figure out why.

I’d look for your ex
And stare at the pictures.
See how you made
All the effort for her.

I’d search them continuously,
And look at the girls
Your friend told me you flirted with
Behind my back.
I’d stare at their pictures
And compare myself to them,
Wonder why I
Was never good enough 
For you.

I cried myself to sleep
Each day and night.
I was never going to be
The one you wanted.

If you didn’t  up
With your ex the way you did,
I know if it came down,
It’d be her over me.

For you, 
I was never enough. 
And I realize it now.

Just because 
We never spoke about it anymore
Didn’t mean the past
Was gone from our lives.

It lingered in the air,
It never went away.
I only ignored it
Because I knew you wouldn’t talk about it.

I still remember
And I’ll never forget.
Here’s to me breaking the habit
Of typing their names
Into search bars
And comparing myself 
To girls who
Would never give you
The time of day.

Copyright © Micheala Ruth September | Year Posted 2023

Please Login to post a comment