I once contemplated Suicide

I once contemplated suicide, But only if I couldn’t have you by my side, Reading my eulogy, shedding a few tears is nothing compared to the endless ocean before my eyes, we are given this one life, Lord will you accept my apology before I do the deed? Will you embrace me the way I’ve left the world you’ve created for me? will anyone miss me? Dark blue seas I cry, if only I could fly. These thoughts flow through my brain for lack of love, for grief, for me to escape. Am I insane or somehow conforming to this world full of Hate. But WAIT will this anxiety and anger be my FATE? The chambers of my heart so empty and cold with knowledge comes understanding. This is getting old. To let the devil win. I would never. Jesus please help me before I take this endeavor. Forgive me now. At your feet I bow. I give it all to you Because I know my promise is in You.