I miss

Forcing myself to live in green- belt of forest with no civil comforts or concerns I don’t flinch. I won’t. Living in extremes of two seasons cinder-hot Sun drowning rain I don’t complain, I can’t one summer was different A passionate couple Fire-Air, waltzed through acres of my nearby forest, grey-burning lives small & big – I didn’t cry. After HER party, I went to see the charred landscape, my heart thumped wild, I could feel my soul in throat – I didn’t cry I stilled my thoughts - I knelt to feel, I knelt to beat coal-black ground, I thumped chest, I flayed my hands to sky, I howled, Roared, wailed, cried I clenched my fist, boxed at guiltless air, I called his partner names – I sobbed back to silence With impotent-raging silence my hands cradled a tiny dying burnt bird gasp for last gulp of air, I knelt in silence. That day I cried, I missed God that day I sobbed back to silence