I Love You Enough To Leave

The truth It will destroy you An August day While you sweep up rose petals On our Sun drenched porch You look at me from under heavy lashes And say it's ok You don't wish to be without me It's ok your always want me Your never stop I'll bask in this glory Thanking God for you loving me As tears prick the back of my eyes The hand around my heart squeezes a little tighter Until I am breathless with it In time There is a difference to us Making love is no longer rushed After I look at you, looking down at me But neither of us say it's pointless Your days a little darker A little longer Things a little more useless The hand around my heart squeezes a little tighter As the truth picks away at your dreams one by one At Christmas we pretend we are still happy Completely in love While in the garden with your sister The truth pours out of me in great sobs She says it's ok your get through this We both know she's lying Inside she's crying I had no right in making you love me So the hand squeezes a little tighter round my heart Somewhere along the way Anger rises The tension surprises us You begin to resent me Hate me for letting you love me And I am sorry I stayed a little too long Cared a little too much I needed this whatever it was So the hand squeezes a little tighter round my heart Invisibly I collect my possessions Storing them They lay in wait Courage appears At three in the morning on a Tuesday Quietly I get my things Wait by the window for a taxi As the hand squeezes a little tighter round my heart The knowledge erupted Watching you hold your new Godson Looking at me longingly Knowing I can never give you this Tears glazing your eyes Looking so proud It's wrong for me to keep you With me this is all your ever be A childless man In your hallway You help with my bags saying nothing I will never be wife, bnever be a mother Without you I'll never be anything As the cab pulls away You say your always love me I say I know But I have to let you go I'm giving you a chance of what I can't give you The most precious thing A family So the hand completely squeezes my heart