I Have No Power To Change It
Like the sun rises by morning;
Like clouds take over by noon;
Like the winds blow from time to time;
Like the stars conquer over the night;
Like the moon is in control of the dark;
Like the rain falls from the heavens;
Like the heat burns up the earth;
Like the cold hits at man at the sea;
Like everything is so unpredictable;
I am one like one of them,
I am one, like their kind.
Today I am here,
Tomorrow, I am there;
Now, I am fine,
Later, I am so unwell;
At one point, I am high in spirits,
All of sudden, I am so down hearted;
Sometimes, I behave like an irregular menstrual cycle;
This month, I let her bleed;
The next, I let her go dry.
I am a book, so difficult to read,
And for those that dare to try,
Then comprehending what is written all within me,
Is like interpreting what an unseen hand is writing on the wall;
If you remember what happened in the book of Daniel.
I am a woman; sometimes I have a hormonal imbalance,
May be that should explain my mood swings,
Why I am always high and low,
Like the rugged terrains of Bundibugyo;
Why I smile and cry out of the blue,
The way it shines and rains in the tropical land.
For those that love me; genuinely love and care about me,
They probably find me to be an incredible sin,
One that is so interesting to completely let go of.
A few tolerate me,
A few give up on me,
A few pretend to be hardliners who are not going anywhere,
While a few, just look at me the way I am.
Ask me to show you one complicated heart around,
And I will rotate round the circle,
And finally point out to myself.
I am just so unbelievable;
I am not proud of my behavior,
But we are just so bound together that where;
My weaknesses go, I go;
Where my strengths bend, I bend.
I once hated it about myself,
But these days,
When the fire intensifies,
I let it burn all it can until it cools down.
When the temperatures go low,
I let them be for I cannot possibly raise them.
The destructions at the end of it all,
I pay by bearing every single outcome;
I pay with my life.
I said I am not proud of this,
I have tried do change,
But may be, it is hard to tame the wild heart.
Could I not just give this out?
Well, it is not an egg that I will give out to the dogs.
Character is part of my nature;
And this nature of mine,
Is being happy now, angry later;
Just the way one with bipolar disorders behaves.
I will always drink to the cheerful moments,
Then cry and hit myself for the ugly scenes,
That I wish never to unfold in my narrow life!
Copyright © Ampurire Anitah | Year Posted 2023
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