I Have Been Afraid

I have been afraid of having you close ; Afraid there will come a time when one of us will have to say 'adios'. I'm strong when left alone but with you I'm vulnerable ; Afraid you'll begin to understand me more than it's bearable. I'll talk to the whole world and be my cheerful best But with you around there's unrest ; One gaze from you and I know you've read the misery behind the jest. I have loved you with all my heart But have been afraid to say it to you from the start. I have a sore on my soul left by someone I loved a great deal ; No matter how hard I try it refuses to heal. I made a mistake then ; But I'll be careful to not make one again. Cause when you love someone and they leave you to weep ; without even having the comfort to hear them speak.. It makes you sick and it makes you mad , with them gone even you begin to live the life of the dead. Now I have built a fence around my heart which refuses to break ; it prefers to be on it's own guarding itself from any further ache. I surround myself with people who don't really matter though with them night and day one can see me chatter. But of you I'm afraid, afraid to have you close again.. Afraid you will break the fence and see the pain..!