I Hate You

I hate you
for crushing my dreams
making me feel small
taking away my personality
not understanding me
I hate you
for making me feel old
for not carrying this load
I hate you

I hate you
I hate you
for imprisoning me
your world all you see
your dreams
your goals
what about me?

I hate you
for making me cry
I hate you most for that
tears splish splash down my face
you see
and yet you don’t
you pretend
you walk away
you have what you need
it's given to you
sugar coated and sweet
and so you live another day
while I'm dying
in this world of pretense

I act like I’m OK
I’m not OK
I’m not Ok
you make me want to die
stuck in my room 
suffocating
no future calls to me
the past only taunts me
your ghoulish lies haunt me

you took away
everything that made me...me
every hope falls away
you left me...
broken

I hate you
for what you’ve done to me
broken winged girl
when I once was an angel
I twist and turn
trying to mend them
those battered wings
I can’t repair them
I can’t reach them

And so I sit
on my fantasy's windowsill 
remembering the wind beneath my wings
remembering what it meant to fly
but now broken am I
I hate you
you make me want to die
A broken winged angel
Who once could fly

Eileen
Copyright © | Year Posted 2014

Poem

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Lamoureux Avatar
December 13, 2014 at 9:57 AM
I'm starting to think you do. (Referring to the title).
Manassian Avatar
December 13, 2014 at 10:05 AM
NOTHING. ... NOTHING could be father than the truth. Please don't assume any such thing. Hugs
Chakrabarty Avatar
October 23, 2014 at 9:17 AM
"broken winged girl when I once was an angel"--incredible loved it. love...rajat
Callus Avatar
October 3, 2014 at 9:03 AM
It is our dreams that give us the wings to fly, and when they fail to come true disillusion sets in. Often patience is needed, but we cannot wait forever....I do not think you hate anyone....just a touch of the blues that will change colour come tomorrow:) // paul
Curtis Avatar
September 30, 2014 at 6:47 AM
Wow Eileen, you've said it all, I wish I had the courage in my younger days to speak-up like this---This is a wonderful piece and well written. I am sure many can relate to this, and that's another thing that makes it special.
A. Sharma Avatar
September 28, 2014 at 5:03 AM
I know times of suppression n depression! But bravo Eileen! U will sure get out of it soon my dear n again fly n much higher!
Bordner Avatar
September 27, 2014 at 2:31 PM
To hate that which hooks our wings to jealous earth, breaking our wing bones with careless weight, the marrow oozing into memories of flight, to hate the weakness of low spirot you are right Eileen. This poem of earthbound angel puts a nail in my eye. I know you will fly once more. I respect and feel your raw emotions of damage. J.A.B.
Manassian Avatar
September 27, 2014 at 2:34 PM
Justin...sometimes things just pile up, you know? Yes, you know...Thank you, for supporting me...for mending my wings a little. I'm tired of being earth bound, Justin. I want to fly....Hugs
Mcdaid Avatar
September 27, 2014 at 12:47 PM
we all feel that way eileen turn around and see the light god bless dear friend
Manassian Avatar
September 27, 2014 at 1:10 PM
Liam...It's been a difficult day. I hope this poem hasn't tarnished my image...I'm struggling. Depressing couple of days...tears...I had to let it out. Thanks for reading. I hope you've posted something new. I'm about to post a happy one. Stay around.
Lamoureux Avatar
September 27, 2014 at 9:18 AM
Your wings are not broken, perhaps battered but capable of great heights. Never give up on your dreams Eileen. Hugs Rick.
Manassian Avatar
September 27, 2014 at 1:11 PM
Thank you, Richard. You know my greatest dream...I'm losing my grip on it. :( It will pass. Hope all is well with you. Read both of your latest poems. They are both beautiful...I think the flow was better on Pole Dancer.
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