I Hate Soup

*Authors note: Be prepared for the inappropriate use of a fork. (Shelter your children.) Proper and Improper soup matters and manners are explored. Legal interpretations and fears surrounding the viewing of and consumption of soup are lightly touched on and on display for the shock value, pleasure, entertainment and amusement of all. (The author here is lobbying for the use of spoons...as well he should.) I Hate Soup I hate soup! No I don't I love soup Get your story straight We are going before the judge today He or she is probably judgmental If they hate you more than the soup I don't know what They'll do If they love soup you can only pray for leniency Claim insanity It is only a lost day in court Stay away from name brands before the law Keep it simple It is safer not to say Campbell's Lipton is forbidden You are being charged with complicity Watching a full fledged felony in action In broad day light is more than a misdemeanor Someone dared to eat, to slurp their soup in public Sipping it in plain view is a capital offense On top of that a fork was used Why oh why did you dine at the Greasy Spoon What bad timing… What bad news Now you have to pay Soup crimes are severe in the light of day Penalties for watching are much more graver Not reporting it is simply crazy I hate soup I love soup It does not matter I'm being sued