I guess I'm losing friends 2 am edition

hold on to your misery it will work after it i need you to be bold and stronger than ever i never talked at first they come with hopes that i might talk about sports or barbies with gossips i went on it to make it perfect and started my way got fear inside what if they leave me and it happened again i guess i'm losing friends no one wants me to say hi to them it's all mess when i wave at them they just shrug tried another group with all with my girls we had fun and fights like a child then sarah told me her secrets i snitched her on with her bestest friend the eyes that were gazing on me i thought she would kill me and she could've she left the room with hopes and cried in the college bathroom what i have done like i guess i'm losing friends everyone wants me to say bye people laugh at me cause i'm too dumb as i'm not as cool or rich as them bold of you to assume that i have friends i later make plans that i'll live alone as my oldest friend cursed me and now we talk back i should've talked with her instead not to create a mess my bestie said you did a right thing but i don't feel that even if she was bad she wasn't bad to me even if she hated someone she didn't hated me now i tried something usual people like me i tried with same level of depression only 1 i ever was talking to but she was bad imagery her name was in the dirt she was in high energy she didn't made me cried but once said you should die i didn't like the vibe was it my fault she was talking bad about 2 others but didn't talked about me still i left her with a note of sorry oh boy she came back stronger and said " you and your promises , i'm not for a vibe" "you should've told me that our friendship was lie" 3 year or less i ed up with nothing but regrets more everyone left me all they see my face not talking to them ignorance no assurance i hate myself more now can't blame on my anxeity i was trying to find someone special all i did was nothing but crime in the name of friendship