I feel unheard

I know I have been on repeat for 15 years I lost all my originality when I was sick and stolen from My guess is it poured out along with my soul and fears chasing after my sanity as it flowed away in tears Its hard to come up with inspiration when your on pause trying to justify the actions of those who love you or at the very least come up with a justified cause one they could of chases based on misinterpreting something they saw you say or do But best laid plans and lost causes your once dream life was taken from you with nothing but a barely believable story that I can only take accountability for not being strong enough to stay in the right when they made moves to take my light and say it wasn't true confused in the dark is not a reasonable place to figure out culpability. The only thing I have left in me because I shed my soul daily I dont save up because I cant promise all good every day so let it go good or bad send it home and start fresh the next day but I can't shed the memory of the darkness and the way out it stays in me like a circuit loop in a conduit. So I can travel in the darkness to shed light on those who stay there and hope they find hope to search for light because follow me or you when its their fight is not the best way. all this said and I am still not right I no I may be meant for darkness to help others overcome. if thats true what all the pain to keep me here so much inner strength it takes to just find a smile and a way to help others. heal when all I could been is gone why is that the deal unloved and alone for 15 years fighting a war that free others. but dooms me to something that I cannot hate or regret only dred Hope that i did bot deserve it that I volunteered otherwise I may die in clovers But surely it is hell that waits for me. I feel so unheard I pour out words that are not great but they would carry meaning spoken to anyone strong and meek from ear to ear of peasants and kings and these words will carry a truth for all who truth seek