I Fear You Aren'T Even Here

I fear you aren't even here I can't remember the day You gave me up I don't know If it was because of me Or your luck I have memories In which I cried Why do I have such hard times I fear I may live with pain Out of sanity My own parent's absurdity Tell me mother What is so wrong with me Is there anything you want to change Are there moments you forget That I was once your child Do you have a strict belief That I am no longer blood Shed from your ovaries I fear every dark hour With stars that twinkle And don't forever shine I may end up dead Before you turn up with a smile But I see a door It seems to open for me I'm hoping it's a key From your heart to mine Now feeling my pain Slipping From my heart to the dirt on the floor Is this it Is it you It seems as if God has come to adopt me Instead, for you --long lost family--