I fear pain, but I wear it for the story

It's easier to love when the worst case is having a funny story to retell at bars. It makes more sense to believe when truth left untold will never make it into the final edit. It's almost too easy to draw blood when I tell myself the red is just footnotes in my story— It's a relief to be forgetful when I know my mind will kindly fog the heartwrenching memories someday... It sometimes worries me when blood runs dry on my arms and pain settles back in— that the footnotes will drown my voice in the margins... But it makes pain less monstrous when I'm just living through my story.