I Dunno

As the tears well up in her eyes she begins to choke them back, For she doesn't know why they are building like a flood. If she doesn't hold them back she's afraid they may not stop for they have been locked behind walls for far too long. Walls of pride, fear of not knowing if it's going to be okay, and knowing the tears may be the admittance that she is too weak to handle everything that is flying at her. Her world is a whirlwind, maybe that's why she's always on the move, to keep up with the things going on. If she stops it may all catch up with her. Could she handle that? Could she handle the reality of what seems to be spinning out of control? Then she realizes … it is out of her control, all she can do is pray and believe that it will all be okay. She knows that's the only thing to do. She's handling it okay, but the weight is becoming a little overwhelming, she wants to help, wants to fix things, but doesn't know how. If she can't fix them she's afraid she's letting everyone down. Why is it she feels so responsible? Her heart feels so heavy. Do people see that sometimes she trembles with each breath because she doesn't know how much longer she can hold? She's about to break under the pressure of all that is going on. Maybe it's because she wants everyone to be okay, everyone to be happy. She doesn't want anyone to suffer or hurt. What can she do to fix that? Is it even possible? Her thoughts are spinning in a million directions She holds on to what she knows is true for that's what helps to be bring her through things like this. But now, all she wants to do is sleep, for when she is sleeping, her world is at rest.and her heart is light, for in her sleep are dreams of a life where everything is okay. 11/30/06