I Didn'T Ever Mean To Be

I didn't ever mean to be This kind of happy In love Enjoying life... Reliably I'd meant to be an artist A musician, a poet Reckless and poor But I tired of hunger And settled for more (or less) Comfort Regular hours and sleep Contort my will Deprive me of lunacy To be the opposite Of corrupted Purified? Sterilized It's hard to tell If this is fulfilling It's just chill and slow And the lows aren't so low I just couldn't go on Believing in nothing With nothing Paralyzed* * - without you I'd die.