I Close My Eyes To Look At You

I close my eyes just to look at you And ignore the smoke To create the vision I think I should have of you Then the smoke rises and I have to open my eyes Just to squint out the tears Now the vision of you I created Is blurred by salt water. No, this is not the ocean, We are not going sailing If it was the ocean, I wish it would dry. I’m writing music for my head to hear To fill the spaces I never heard you say I love you And I’m not even musically-gifted, My brain is just so empty without the fake tunes. On days I can’t write my own music or sing my own song I forget there was music at all since the beginning of time And I pretend that emptiness is a normal feeling Out of hollow spaces might come something magical. Maybe once silence was golden But in my world silence rots like unwanted apples Till the stench grows rank with decay And I decide my obnoxious cymbols Are better than no sound at all. I crank up the volume to drown out the world But they don’t seem to notice They are the reason for my distance! I’ve painted over the window to my house Now the only light that gets through is just obnoxious But I don’t have the courage to draw the curtains so pesky light always creeps in I close my eyes just to look at you And then I see your face I close my eyes to see you But that ain’t lookin’, that ain’t lookin’ at all.