I Close My Eyes To Look At You

I close my eyes just to look at you
And ignore the smoke
To create the vision I think I should have of you
Then the smoke rises and
I have to open my eyes
Just to squint out the tears
Now the vision of you I created
Is blurred by salt water.
No, this is not the ocean,
We are not going sailing 
If it was the ocean,
I wish it would dry.
I’m writing music for my head to hear
To fill the spaces I never heard you say I love you
And I’m not even musically-gifted,
My brain is just so empty without the fake tunes.
On days I can’t write my own music or sing my own song
I forget there was music at all since the beginning of time
And I pretend that emptiness is a normal feeling
Out of hollow spaces might come something magical.
Maybe once silence was golden 
But in my world silence rots like unwanted apples 
Till the stench grows rank with decay 
And I decide my obnoxious cymbols
Are better than no sound at all.
I crank up the volume to drown out the world
But they don’t seem to notice
They are the reason for my distance!
I’ve painted over the window to my house 
Now the only light that gets through is just obnoxious
But I don’t have the courage to draw the curtains 
so pesky light always creeps in

I close my eyes just to look at you 
And then I see your face
I close my eyes to see you 
But that ain’t lookin’, that ain’t lookin’ at all.
Copyright © | Year Posted 2007

Poem

Post Comments

Poetrysoup is an environment of encouragement and growth so only provide specific positive comments that indicate what you appreciate about the poem. Negative comments will result your account being banned.

Please Login to post a comment

Be the first to comment on this poem. Encourage this poet.

Get a Premium Membership
Turn off ads, get more exposure for your poetry, and get more features with a Premium Membership.
Book: Diverse Voices: The Poetry of Human Rights and the Pursuit of Peace