Get Your Premium Membership

I Can'T Just Change Overnight Part 1

(Inspired by my sister, Laura Breidenthal’s poem called “The Dream in His Eyes” and also, inspired by Disturbed’s song “Forsaken”. Special thanks to my sister for such an awesome poem and the writer that wrote “Forsaken”. It’s been a pleasure, writing this LONG poem! Please feel free to comment below and I hope you like reading it!) I’m getting over the wasted times I’ve spent During the summer days, indoors…I wonder where the time went… Debating on whether or not to write An inspirational song once again – that’s a might, Despite what I feel deep inside – The need to hide, but a want to be brave… Don’t mind me – I’ll learn to behave For the night, I’d rather be with my family by my side For the night, I’d rather sleep with dreams that won’t subside From my sight…but once I wake up, they are soon forgotten Why is my hope rotten? In God’s eyes, am I unforgotten? In the vast abyss…the abstract abyss… I roam in my lonely distress; it’s only in my head Can’t shake away this hopelessness… I long to embrace happiness, but instead, I hold on to dread Again…again… Why should I allow myself to fall away again? Complaining is only for the foolish in heart So, why should I make a big fuss of things? Can’t they see I’m breaking apart Or…hm…do they see my depression as another work of art? Am I worthy of praise from the start? Reality stings…these dreams haven’t mended my wings… Failing to meet the finish line… Pretending that everything is dandy and fine But, to be frank, it’s not... Sorry, negativity is heating up like water in the pot I’ve been taught not to worry I’ve been taught to be happy I’ve been taught to be joyous I’ve been told not to fuss…and cuss… Then again, I fall down on the ground, Yearning to win life’s awfully difficult round I want to change the world for the better But I can’t if I can’t change my life around… Sorry for my childish negativity… It would be a miracle if someone can hold my head up Sorry for my bottomless misery… But, I know for certain that God gathers up my tears in His cup He stores them in His heart of love He restores my faith and lifts me high above Anyways, I’m quite aware that my feelings are fickle… And these emotions I conceal are as bittersweet as a pickle… But I shall not lose hope, For tomorrow will be another day to look forward to My tongue will rejoice, not mope For yesterday has passed away and there’s nothing else I can do I should be a brighter blue…a brighter hue… Still clouded by the little bits of memory in my brain that gets me insane I naturally feel relieved that I don’t remember too much of my past Maybe it’s because I’m growing up too fast…maybe a little too fast… I wish I can cast away all woe I want to bestow bliss to all I know Don’t you see me fading? Can’t you see the shame I’ve dealt with for so long? Don’t you know that I’m trading My shame with agape love… I can never get enough of it…don’t get me wrong… Don’t dig me a grave, but have a heart to save A long lost soul that has been wandering the streets of avarice lane I fear that I have lost touch of the meaning of life…most of the time, letting my poverty gang up on me and coveting the lives of the wealthy individuals…fighting duels in my mind – committing a million crimes Take my hand and hold it tight… Strife and peace have been quarrelling for what seems like years…please, just give me a break…for the hope of heaven…bring me peace instead of strife…let peace win this time or we’ll face perilous times Roam this land and don’t pick a fight… Alive and well, I wish I could be… Alive and well, as glad as can be… Swimming in the sea of shame Why did you shatter? Shocked out of my mind, hunted for game What’s the matter? Did I hurt anyone with these words? I’m sorry…they come and go like herds of birds… Or should I say flock of birds? Wait, scratch that… I don’t regret writing these lines…I wear them like my favorite hat… Forsaken…alone…down in the dumps…you can fill in the blanks… And yet, when I’m with you, I say otherwise...I pour in my lament liquid in a thousand tanks... I don’t delight in what I say…maybe I should have taken your advice lately…be careful what I see or hear…I was reclusive, sinking in my angst… I don’t blame you for being incomplete…I envy the fact that you’re wise… At least in my eyes, but what does He see in His eyes? The truth behind the lies? The lies? The thoughtless goodbyes? The temporary highs? Amongst us is the darkest of night... I guess I’m not the only one, struggling to see the light Forgive the heartless acts of men, oh Lord… The sins that we must repent of is far too much to afford Together, we are one brilliant nation… We all share our moments of tranquil sensation and utter frustration Oh noble, humble children of the Father in Heaven… Can I be included in His family too? Can I be complete like You like the number seven? I’ve slept for too long and I’ve wept over the wrong… Over the wrong I’ve done… How can I feel like I belong when at home, it’s hard to belong? It feels like darkness has won… Masked in damasked delusions of the dreams I’ve dreamt I have the desire to let go of the resentment that crept into me…one attempt… Ended up as a fail, But in the end, It didn’t land me in jail I don’t mean to offend My attempt to answer the call of composure Will be quite a challenge, but it’s a challenge I’m willing to face I’m pretty sure that I won’t find the ultimate cure To end chaos when unpredictable predicaments take place… I speak with a sincere, fearless heart… I will vanish away the doubts that try to rip us apart Remind me not to lose track of hope and stay focused on what’s uplifting and of great significance The wasted times of my life – something I shouldn’t mope too much about…instead, I should shine on with ripened radiance… The masses of elegantless anguish transformed me into this monster This hideous thing called Wasted Away Love This repulsive rage has burned away Peace, my dove… My dove of passion-driven accord that I probably can’t get enough of My opinions of out-of-the-world peace isn’t at all flawless But, please…just listen to me or I’ll spiral in my distress… Smother me with your astuteness of authenticity Enthralled by the waterfalls of wonderfulness all over again

Copyright © | Year Posted 2015

Post Comments

Poetrysoup is an environment of encouragement and growth so only provide specific positive comments that indicate what you appreciate about the poem.

Please Login to post a comment

A comment has not been posted for this poem. Encourage a poet by being the first to comment.

Book: Shattered Sighs