I Broke Free

What happened to the man I loved? Why did he lose himself? The strong hold his demons had over him was tearing us apart Dilated pupils, slurred words, stupid grin worn when drinking, a fool who staggers on his way until he's behind a closed door I'll let it be for now, but putting up with it is becoming a chore Mom died and I'd flown home to take care of all that mattered Two hours at the airport before he arrived. At least he was alive I asked for the keys; he gave me that sly grin with a blank stare I let it be. Can't reason with a drunk who's leaning on the car door He reaked of peppermint schnapps. Beneath my breath I swore I drove home from work and found the usual 'hidden' tell-tale signs top shelf of the pantry, another box in the shower, half eaten pizzas He was clueless that the scent of pepperoni gave his addiction away Not up for a confrontation so I didn't knock upon his fortress door I had to let it be because I heard him snoring, passed out on the floor What excuses he invented when it was time for him to go to work "My allergies are acting up," with Kleenex up both sides of his nose Or this, "My hair is not cooperating today so just go on without me" When I got home I was alone. He, behind the damned locked door I'd let him be, but I longed for the life that once held so much more I found empty vodka bottles he thought hidden in places I'd not find blueberry, peach, or tasty flavor of the week, under dresser drawers He refused my begging pleas to get the help he needed, so I let it be It's true; living with someone who keeps himself shut behind a door is lonelier that living alone. I loved him, but I was better off before. Before he started drinking we were happy; quite a contented couple But that changed when he abused me with angry words and actions There was no satisfaction in walking away from the man I still loved I couldn't say "let it be." I wouldn't watch another inebriated encore I said goodbye, trying not to cry. Tears fell when I closed the door