I Am Who I Am

I am myself, I am only me, I'm unlike anybody. Inside my head daydreams swim around, some are light, some are profound. Some are dark like the deepest deep. In the shadow of sadness I sit and weep. In the darkness I try to sauce light but there is nothing, no dim flicker no tunnel of hope, swallowed up with nothing, not a glimpse of glowing. I am dead inside no feelings for the world around me, the darkness closes and the depression drowns me, I've lost my way and I can't find who I used to be. I pray for an angel to come my way and direct me to the path to which I have strayed. No angels come only the nightfall stays, I'm living with bad memories that chip away at me every day. Somehow I find strength from a place unknown, the misery releases me and I'm back home. I am happy now, I feel so alive or is this just a wicked cruel disguise? I pray this feeling will stay this time but I'm waiting and waiting for it to be gone, I can't even enjoy my happiness for the fear of losing it, once more returning to the bleakness for another trip, a living hell with no feeling in it. I don't want to go back I hate it there, the depths are the darkest and its too much to bare. At times it creeps slowly all sly and coy it treats me like it's toy, and plays with me until I am destroyed. I pray for its grasps to release me and give me over to this ecstasy. I'd rather be high and live in a cloud in their light fluffy puffiness I'd never be down. I'd bask in the light the sun has given as a gift, filling my sole with a positive lift. I might be down and I might get back up but I am who I am and i can be no one else.