I Am Tired

A hundred to one. I can do a hundred good deeds, But one bad deed, Will destroy them. By now I am so far in debt, I can never repay, What I owe. Even death cannot now be recompense, I can only repay, For all eternity. I am tired. I am tired of trying. Trying to do things for others, When I will fail or forget some small thing, And that is what they remember. Trying to have a child, Never to know the joy and sorrow, When failure is all I meet. Trying to have hope, When it is beaten out of me every day, And I struggle to go on. I am tired of living, Struggling day to day, To meet more failures in the future. I am tired of trying to provide, Seeing those faces when I cannot, Faces not remembering what I have. I am tired of working, Doing my best every day, To see it undone the next. I am tired of my creativity, Having wonderful things waiting to be made, Never seeing day, for lack of time. I am tired of the world, One where I never fit in, And becomes worse every day. I am tired of being tired, Eternally plodding from one thing to the next, Never to know rest. I am tired.