I Am Supposed To Be a Human Being

I had a happy childhood at first Yeah I played with dolls to a tragic Extent. It was a dream of some Type of female existence. I was Almost to young to remember the Two year old boy I used to be. I had memories of another me. I began to realize, as I heard Relatives arguing about a little Girl. "No she is a boy!" "She Should wear boy clothes, why do You buy her dresses!" I wondered Who could they be arguing about Then I recognized, it was me! That is why I often sought boy Company. I didn't give a DAMN What the doctors said. Yeah! In my head I was the one my DEAD BLACK FATHER'S SON! I was a dream in my own reality Supreme!! In somebody else's World, to them I was just a Little black girl but... I knew the Truth. Someone had ripped my Genitalia! Made me unnatural An abomination! My dreams My aspirations. A failure! My ANATOMY!! was my destiny Now to bleed? Between my legs Was a lie. Mutilation! I was a Little girl? I cried, I wanted to Become the man that I am! That my father was. He loved! I thought who had committed This atrocity against me. My Mind screamed. WHERE IS MY BOY ANATOMY!! This was traumatic. As I grew I, In 1980 or maybe 1992 I knew. I was a man without my life no Longer between my legs. So What did this make me? Somebody Have carved me a Man-made Anatomy. Making me a gender Bender?! This SHOULD NOT BE!! A TRANSGENDER ATROCITY!! I AM A MAN!! WITHOUT MY DNA PLAN!! OH DAMN!! This will not stand! I feel as though I am the only one. My dead black father's GENDERLESS SON. No synthetic Hormones man made Testosterone I have got my own. YESSS! I AM A MAN! THEY named me VALERIE on the surgeon's table. But I grew regardless of what Anybody else wanted. I would Become my own reality. Knowbody will control this angry Man. No transgender rhetoric no Bible beliefs. please. I am nobody's Woman. I am the unapologetic Nonconforming supposed to be Wants to be like my forefathers. All of those ANATOMICALLY CORRECT MEN! I WANT TO BE THEM!! Y- CHROMOSOME SEED NO APOLOGIES!! The definition of MANHOOD IS to FIGHT against the ODDS no Matter what!! I AM!!